*Originally appeared in Honeysuckle Magazine
Between the Sheets.
What I enjoy most about the writing process is the moment during long sessions when I stop thinking about what to write next and just let my body be the vessel for the genius inside. That’s when I know I’ve finally cracked the code, and I can see the scene so perfectly clear in my mind’s eye. I just have to hope that my hands can keep up.
I have been writing since I was a kid. As a teenager I would craft short stories and screenplays for my friends to produce and act in. Most of those projects remained unfinished due to sheer size of scope, but those that we did complete ended up on YouTube and circulated through a few local film festivals. This eventually landed me in film school, where my writing continued to swell. In my third year, I applied to and was accepted into an internship program that would take me to Los Angeles for my spring semester. Unbeknownst to everyone else, I had an ulterior motive.
My affinity for writing was only matched by my obsession with porn; ever since my first time using the internet (back in the first days of AOL), I discovered X-rated sites and was immediately hooked. But watching wasn’t enough – I wanted to be part of the action. Before the start of my internship, I contacted multiple adult performers, who then directed me to agencies. Young and hopeful, I emailed those agencies and sent in photos. Most went unanswered, but there was one (which is no longer in commission) that liked my look and was willing to give me an opportunity. That was my in, my foot in the door. A couple months later, in January 2012, I arrived in Los Angeles and on just my second day in town was already shooting my very first scene.
Cut to: 2013. I was now a full-time male performer in the industry. My writing hadn’t stopped, but it took a backseat while I focused on work. That’s when tragedy struck. A moratorium was called because a veteran performer had tested positive for HIV.
I remember being flooded with second thoughts and fear. Desperate for an outlet, I purged onto the page. I had a sudden realization that our time as performers in this industry is limited, and while HIV cases are incredibly rare (almost nonexistent), the fact is that it has happened and it can happen to any one of us. I made a promise to myself right then and there to document my days, to share my story, and to immortalize my experience. This led to daily journaling, which was then digitally transcribed and molded over time to finally become my autobiographical fiction novel, Between the Sheets: Rise of a Working Stiff.
Between the Sheets, as detailed in the synopsis, loosely follows my real life trajectory through adolescence up to my first full year in the business, focusing on the literal ins and outs of the industry as well as the harsh realities that result from pursuing a life of fantasy. I can’t deny the fact that when the days are good, they areexceptional, a rush unlike anything else. When I’m firing on all cylinders, I truly love my job, but that isn’t to say it is completely without baggage. There is a flipside to “living the dream;” sacrifices are made and crossroads must be faced. Sometimes it’s hard to gauge whether the moments of bliss outweigh the lifetime of stigmatization, but I know for me, the struggle is worth the story.
This is Book One of an intended three-book series. I felt the need to split everything into separate parts due to excess of material. I believe I have found the perfect length to keep readers invested and then leave them hungry for more by the end. So long as I’m in porn, my story will never be officially finished. I didn’t intend to write one giant book as an end-all-be-all, I just wanted to compile moments and experiences. With Book One, I have set the stage, created the world, and introduced all of the major players. Between the Sheets is a definitive origin story.
Who is Logan? Get your copy today and find out.